News recently broke that the place in Illinois that supplies most of the world's pumpkins is experiencing a shortage due to inclement weather this season. Which left me with two thoughts. First, what do you even call a business that ships out pumpkins? Second, and more alarming, Chicago isn't the state?
Regardless, it makes me happy to know North Carolina is in the clear of this pumpkin famine. Especially because pumpkin carving is literally the only kind of fall activity I'm good at. My first year, I carved one to look like the winking, kissy emoji. Sophomore year, I was so traumatized by cleaning up the rotting mess of the emoji pumpkin the year prior that I didn't carve one. And this year, my roommate and I carved them to look like the "LOL" and "YAAASS" symbols at the end of every BuzzFeed article. Because, you know, snake person.
If any of you want to carve a DTH Headlines (our just-the-facts newsletter, which you can subscribe to at any time) pumpkin, I will welcome you with open arms to our marketing staff*. I'll also elect to do it myself if you lovely readers could GoFundMe to raise enough for me to buy another pumpkin. Times are rough at this point in the semester.
*I do not have the authority to promise this.
— Danny
QUICK HITS
- The last sighting of a wild hookah bar on Franklin Street was in 2010, and you can thank Orange County's stringent stipulations against public smoking for driving them to extinction.
- North Carolina's public defenders are no longer in control of their own budget, meaning they'll now have to compete with other court programs for funding. Good thing the court system is probably super well funded… right?
- Heading into the game against Virginia, UNC football is sitting at 5-1, its best start since Fedora came on four years ago.
- Orange County is usually run by Democrats, and 48 percent of its residents are Democrats. Thirty-five percent are unaffiliated. It's hard out there for Republicans.
IN CAMPUS NEWS
All nine South Campus dorms have compost bins, and there are more to come. The Residential Housing Association hopes to have composting in every community by next year. Which sounds like really exciting news, except Craige already had a compost site brimming with leaves, stray papers and assorted food scraps. It's Room 427, my first-year dorm.
IN TOWN NEWS
Chapel Hill police will soon be giving out "good tickets" to law-abiding residents. Think of it like an adult version of gold stars from kindergarten, except with coupons for YoPo. Because, you know, if anything is going to help my opinion of police, it's having them stop me for a couple minutes to let me know I'm not breaking the law.
IN ILLINOIS RUINING HALLOWEEN
This year's rain caused a pumpkin shortage from a major global supplier in Illinois. They had one job, and it was to be the Pumpkin Capital of the World. But it's OK. According to local pumpkin farmers, North Carolina had a great pumpkin season. So heck you, Illinois. We're finally better than someone at something other than public universities and barbecue.
IN HOME MOVIES
A competitive student film festival is coming to UNC. The only rules for Campus MovieFest are 1) Don't talk about Campus MovieFest, and 2) Students make the films in the week provided, they're shorter than five minutes and they contain neither copyrighted nor nakie material. They'll hold a viewing of the top 16 movies — where you will run into me because I am present anywhere there's a red carpet and an excuse to be bougie.
IN THE BLOGS
Home-cooked meals, getting a full night's sleep and other expectations vs. realities of going home in college: For those of you who are still full of hope, still have friends from high school and still go home for break, this blog is probably really relatable. For the rest of us, let's read this and bitterly reminisce. RIP watching Netflix at home with the family dog. Hello, watching Netflix alone in bed.
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