DTH at a Glance: Alt-facts

Good morning, and Happy National Inane Answering Message Day!

In honor of the #AlternativeFacts trend, Swerve presents to you an arbitrary list of the top six alternative facts about dook, including Grayson Allen's involvement in the George Bush Shoe-Dodging Incident of 2008. In return, here is an even more arbitrary list of alternative facts relating to the DTH, courtesy of yours truly.

1) We are financially independent of the University but financially co-dependent on Linda's Bar & Grill.

2) Business Insider ranked us No. 4 in its list of most well-rested and emotionally stable workplaces in 2016.

3) The Duke Chronicle is a good publication with more than 3,000 unique visitors to its site every day.

— Danny

QUICK HITS

• George Orwell's novel "1984" spiked to No. 6 on the bestseller list and was out of stock on Amazon following Kellyanne Conway's minting of the phrase, you guessed it, "alternative facts."
• About 10,000 people came out to Chapel Hill's LIGHTUP Lantern Festival to celebrate the Chinese New Year on Saturday.
• The Trump administration's freeze of the EPA's grants and social media accounts are raising alarms about the future of certain programs at UNC — especially because the agency has provided about $44 million for University research in the last five years.

IN DAILY CRIME

Someone caused a disturbance in line at Starbucks on Thursday, and remarkably it wasn't me. Another person reported the "dispatch of a deer" after it was hit by a car on Donegal Drive.

IN BUSINESS OPENINGS

Franklin Street-goers welcomed the bar Might as Well to the neighborhood this weekend. Also coming to town soon is Mel's Commissary, a southern food stop and the technical spouse-restaurant of Al's Burger Shack.

IN SPORTS NEWS

UNC women's basketball finally broke its five-game losing streak to pull an 83-70 victory over the Wolfpack. Because if State is good at one thing, it's coming in second to UNC.

IN PROTEST

More than 1,000 people gathered at RDU yesterday to protest Donald Trump's executive order on immigration restrictions. About 100 demonstrators also met outside the Chapel Hill post office. If you're having a bad morning, 10/10 would recommend this audio interview with a little girl on how Dumbledore wouldn't let the EO happen.

IN SPONSORED CONTENT

Thanks to an NFL-style draft system, Granville Towers is letting its residents choose their rooms with their friends at the same time. Students have the option to go and physically place a pin — crime show corkboard-style — on a poster of Granville’s layout to “draft” the room and neighbors they want.