The Daily Tar Heel
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The Daily Tar Heel

Ben Dickens


The Daily Tar Heel
News

Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex

Everywhere I'm confronted with sex. I turn on the TV, and what do I see? Sex, sex, sex. I hop in my car, and what's the song on the radio talking about? Sex, sex, sex. I'm sitting in class, staring at the wall and what do I daydream about? Goats. Why, I'm not sure. But I should be daydreaming about sex because that's what saturates our media. If almost-sex were a sport in the Olympics, Americans would dominate. Just flip on MTV and see what I mean.

The Daily Tar Heel
News

Life in Prison: The Answer To My Prayers

I am a senior, which means I will be graduating in a few weeks. I will then enter a world of freedom: freedom to pay my own health insurance, freedom to pay my own rent, freedom to get a job. I implore any students reading this column to walk immediately to Steele Building and fill out the change-of-majors form.

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