Sticking with this week's theme of dragging freshmen who don't stay in their lane, I want to open with a story from high school today. The year was 2012. The world was set to end in two months. We still recognized the name Rick Santorum. And most importantly, some stupid 14-year-old was trying to have "The Handmaid's Tale" banned from my high school's reading list because it "denigraded Christianity (sic)."
1) "Denigraded" isn't a word. 2) HE NEVER EVEN READ THE BOOK. But, thankfully, this was the first time in four centuries that my high school's administration did something reasonable, and his request was respectfully shot out of the sky.
- ProgDay, a festival celebrating music like rock from the '70s, is coming to Chapel Hill. Apparently four Jurassic Parks weren't enough for us to learn things that died out belong in the past.
- Hundreds of N.C. residents participated in a leg of a Selma-inspired, 860-mile march for voting equality.
- Yesterday, the youngest member of Chapel Hill Town Council pleaded guilty to drunken driving — and he's up for re-election in November. Showing up late to my first class on FDOC doesn't seem like that bad of timing after all.
Tyler Strandberg, a 2009 UNC graduate, died in a rock-climbing accident Aug. 22. Strandberg knitted beanies, worked with at-risk youth with special needs and dressed her rescue dog in UNC apparel for basketball games. To honor Strandberg, C-V Ranch, the program she volunteered with, will accept donations to help more children in the future.
Chapel Hill Public Library braces for Banned Book Week. The annual celebration starts on Sept. 27 this year and honors contentious literary works that feature basically anything I'd have if I were a book. Questionable morals, fluent profanity and gay penguin adoption have all led to people banning literary works.
Hide your kids, hide your bikes. To benefit local charities, the Department of Public Safety and service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega auctioned off confiscated bicycles they found abandoned around campus. Hopefully they didn't also find my car I've accidentally left in an unidentified parking deck for the past two days.
North Carolina got cock-blocked in Charlotte last night. UNC football lost 17-13 to the Gamecocks, and Larry Fedora is not happy. Also, I know that headline was passive voice, but I've been waiting three journalistic lifetimes to make that joke about South Carolina. Let me live.
Bernie Sanders' lack of mud-slinging could cost him. The presidential candidate promised he would run a clean campaign against Hillary Clinton, but some think forgoing criticism isn't the best idea. Bernie, sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves and throw some good, old-fashioned shade.
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