Partially because I don't want to share childhood Easter stories and mostly because I signed an NDA regarding my Spring Break, I'm choosing to share my disappointment with Chase Rice's requests for performing at Jubilee.
He requested things like "water," "Protein Drink" and "a veggie plate." As if he's trying to prove that being a country star wasn't boring enough to stand alone. So, I've put together some suggestions for future Jubilee performers to do better.
- A 50-piece box of Yummy Dino Buddies Chicken Nuggets
- Fresh Hass avocados (3)
- Arbor Mist Cranberry Twist White Merlot
- A pair of dog nail clippers
And all of these suggestions were, for the record, taken from receipts on the floor of my car.
— Danny
QUICK HITS
- The Tar Heels are heading to the Sweet 16 after an 85-66 win over Providence. They'll take on Indiana on Friday.
- Compared to Rae Sremmurd, Chase Rice's requests for what he wanted in his Jubilee contract were agonizingly boring. They were all granted, though.
- UNC men's tennis came out of this weekend with an unsurprising victory over N.C. State. The Tar Heels won 5-2.
- We asked random UNC students what they did over Spring Break. Note that exactly zero of the nine got any work done, either.
IN EASTER NEWS
This year's Easter egg hunt at Southern Community Park required 2,000 more eggs than last year. Organizers decided on the increase following the Great Egg Shortage of 2015 – because hell hath no fury like a suburban parent whose kid is the only one who couldn't find candy.
IN THE BLOGS
Presented with minimal commentary: Seven random gifs from the internet that accurately portray the last seven weeks of this semester. Presented with zero commentary: one gif that accurately portrays my upcoming seven weeks.
IN POLITICS
North Carolina's primary elections didn't really see any surprises or upsets. Much like any time we ever play State in sports. Hillary and Trump took the presidential W's, and the gubernatorial race showed promise for incumbent Pat McCrory and current Attorney General Roy Cooper.
IN MEMORIAM
UNC junior Vincey Varghese died from complications with a brain tumor on Wednesday. She was a biology major and dreamed of becoming a pediatrician. More than 500 loved ones came to her funeral on Saturday. And by all accounts (mine included), we're all better people for having known her.
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