The Daily Tar Heel

Serving the students and the University community since 1893

Tuesday September 27th

Cameron Mitchell


News

Our Playtime Comes to an End

In the beginning, I promised to get you off. I said I'd push buttons. I guaranteed ultimate titillation. And knowing that I've succeeded, I'm happy that our playtime's over.But now I wish to give something back. This last column belongs to you, readers. Here are a few excerpts from letters you've sent me throughout the semester. I've answered most of you in private, but now I'll lay some of our dialogue out for the public. No.

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News

`Rules' of Same-Sex Relationships

Anger is ever present. The mainstream rejects us. We are held back by tradition. Stifled by society we remain ...You're strolling down Franklin Street, sun on your face. A smile cracks as you glance over at him. The grin, the laughs -- he has made your day far brighter than the sun ever could. Your hand stops in midair before grasping his fingers.Rule #1: Even slight public displays of affection are forbidden.Excitedly, you yearn to simply talk about him aloud. Who at work will shun you after the word boyfriend timidly makes its way across your lips?

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News

Sinners, Let Madonna Save You

I've got a secret. It involves a cult. But don't take this extremely insignificant column as me forcing my very personal beliefs upon you. Bail out now if you must ...OK, so here goes: Not only am I Madonna-obsessed, but I frickin' worship her.That's right. Each and every night, after I'm all tucked in, I pray to Madonna. Not the Madonna, as in Jesus' mother -- I'm talking about the Material Girl here.Think I'm crazy? I probably am. But that don't make no matter. Madonna has many followers. And doesn't that validate the religion?

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News

Warning: Under 18 May Not Read

"I love my pussy, it is the complete summation of my life. It's the place where all the most painful things have happened. But it has given me indescribable pleasure. My pussy is the temple of learning."That, my dear peeps, is from Madonna's controversial "Sex" book. Upon its arrival in 1992, everyone went crazy. For the most part, people seemed to agree that Madonna had simply gone too far that time.Society at large tied her to the whipping post, so to speak.The oversized picture-book sold for a whopping $50.

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News

Censoring Madonna Hypocritical

Censorship can work in mysterious ways. Take Madonna's 1990 video for the song "Justify My Love" for instance. MTV refused to air the clip because of its graphic sexual content. In the video, breasts are briefly bared, S&M themes are hinted at, and Madonna grinds down on a male lover after making out with a girl.Steamy stuff? Hell yeah. This little ol' video stimulated a national debate on censorship and an artist's freedom of expression rights. Oh, and because MTV refused to air the clip, Madonna released it as the first ever video single.

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News

Look Beyond Our Material Things

These are my clothes. Away from me they go. Shiny shoes, running shoes and flip-flops shall carry me no more. Silver hoops in my ears, stud through my tongue, ring in my navel.Gone.Just a few weeks ago, I gave a stranger a ride to Durham in my scraggly car. As I pumped gas, he showed me his wallet and cellular phone and said he had money. He just needed a ride to Durham because his car had quit quite unexpectedly.Now, quite unexpectedly, my car has sputtered out for the time being. Gone is convenience through the automobile.

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News

I've Been a Closeted Heterosexual

Boys? Girls? Boys and girls?I've struggled over this thing for a while. But since this very column has served as my "coming out" platform to all the peeps out there throughout the semester, I figured I'd use it to share my latest shocking sexuality news: I'm a born-again heterosexual.It's true. Praise the Lord.Now, please take a moment to check out my picture above. Are you confused? Well, as it turns out, a lot of you out there obviously are. I've received various e-mails from students wondering if I'm a boy or a girl.

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News

Elton & Eminem - An Odd Couple

"I'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or lez," Eminem raps in "Criminal," a song on his latest album, The Marshall Mathers LP. In "Kill You," he sings, "Bitch, I'm-a kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me, girls leave, you ain't nothin' but a slut to me, bitch, I'm-a kill you!" On parts of the record, Eminem talks about raping his own mother. In "Kim," he raps about murdering the mother of his daughter.

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News

Tips for All of UNC's Rage-aholics

Meet the Carolina fan. His very loins burn with passion for Carolina sports. Whether he's physically present at games or not, he screams as if he were. Each time Carolina scores, you can hear him shouting with glee at the television screen. And the Carolina fan will be sure to let you know when UNC wins as he runs up and down the hall, screaming in victory at the top of his lungs. That's dedication.Sometimes, especially after big games, he rushes to the bathroom to steal rolls of toilet paper.

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News

Sex Isn't Bad - Try It This Weekend

It has to be the tip of the breast -- the nipple. I saw it in a porn once," my friend told me."Oh, so it's not the whole breast that goes inside. I get it," I said as the light bulb went off inside my head.My friend, who we'll refer to as "Lola," was telling me about one of her sexual fantasies.At first, she was really shy about discussing such thoughts so explicitly. It took her a while to get the whole story out, mostly because she kept interrupting her own narrative flow with silly questions.

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