You Asked For It: In which we scam Campus Dining Services and keep your butt dry.
Perry Carter (First Citizens) and Derek Fulton (Wells Fargo) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
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Perry Carter (First Citizens) and Derek Fulton (Wells Fargo) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Did you procrastinate making your Halloween costume? Did your meme costume become out of date between the time you ordered it and its arrival? Throw away your Ken Bone costume and hang up your Chewbacca Mom mask: You Asked for It, UNC's premier (only!) satirical advice column is here to help.
Looking for a little help to get through the horrors of remembering to bring a Scantron to midterms, sharing a bathroom with seven other people and walking to class from Hinton James? Find your unofficial UNC patronus/nontrademarked protection mammal here.
Kiana Cole (English breakfast tea) and Alison Krug (a 5-Hour Energy on the rocks) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kiana Cole (living in London!) and Alison Krug (living in the basement of the journalism school!) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. In this special edition of You Asked for It, Alison teaches you how to cope while your other half (of your satirical advice column) is living abroad and tries to turn this in for retroactive graphic design class credit. Results may vary.
Alison Krug (buried under homework) and Kiana Cole (classes haven’t started) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Alison Krug (senior) and Kiana Cole (acceptance pending) are the (new!) writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (Dr Pepper with vanilla and a splash of peach Fanta) and Drew Goins (water with lemon) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
The stars of You Asked for It finally answer your insane advice submissions, and now you can see their faces moving while they do it.
Kelsey Weekman (happiest she’s ever been to stare at the cardboard backing of a picture frame for eternity) and Drew Goins (third or fourth happiest he’s ever been to stare at the cardboard backing of a picture frame for eternity) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (Joel James eating imaginary oatmeal) and Drew Goins (Luke Maye stirring Joel’s imaginary oatmeal for him from the bench so it doesn’t get lumpy) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (Ice Cube in “Ride Along”) and Drew Goins (Ice Cube in “Are We There Yet 2”) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (#SoWhite) and Drew Goins (the first openly LGBT man to write an advice column, he decided) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (Make Twitter Great Again) and Drew Goins (Drew!) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (“to hate like this is to be happy forever”) and Drew Goins (dook sucks lol) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (a lot like Cupid) and Drew Goins (stupid) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (who has the indomitable focus and determination of Rey from “Star Wars”) and Drew Goins (Jar Jar Binks) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (Condition 2) and Drew Goins (Condition Eww) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Kelsey Weekman (very important) and Drew Goins (very pretentious) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Drew Goins (young, scrappy and hungry) and Kelsey Weekman (mainly hungry) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.