There’s been a lot of buzz lately about Deez Nuts, the independent candidate fabricated by a bored 15-year-old in Iowa. Coincidentally, I, too, know a thing or two about working on the independent campaign of a presidential hopeful.
It was senior year of high school. We were tired. We were downtrodden. We were looking for things to pad our resumes for college. But mostly, we were looking for a leader — for hope. I joined my friend as her campaign adviser, and together, we vowed to run against the oppressive structure of the student body presidency.
OK, so in actuality, she missed the deadline to register her name on the ballot. But that didn’t stop her from pivoting and campaigning as a student body dictator. After mostly gaining popularity by word of mouth, we decided to take the next logical step: Writing raps to diss the registered candidates. One of the songs even played on 102 Jamz in the morning. Fame is a strange feeling, I’m certain.
But, eventually, our principal got on the announcements to make an official statement banning write-in candidates in the election — and just like that, my presidential hopeful was snuffed out. Now, I can only hope the principal of the United States will intervene soon and put an end to Donald Trump and Deez Nuts.
QUICK HITS
- A movement protesting Planned Parenthood and its alleged selling of aborted fetuses sprang up in Chapel Hill this weekend.
- A UNC senior plans to bring artwork inspired by racial conflicts to tonight’s #SayHerName vigil in memoriam of Sandra Bland.
- The women’s soccer team really boxed out Fresno State on Sunday, crushing the Bulldogs 7-0 and beating Dook by transitive property.*
Donald Trump’s and Deez Nuts’ popularity is probably living on borrowed time. According to very professional analysts, polling results this early in the race aren’t reliable measures of how candidates will fair in the 2016 election. So Trump might be leading the Republican polls in North Carolina right now, but experts say that approval rating, much like Deez Nuts, will eventually drop.
Students and faculty weigh in on the importance of English 105. According to professors who teach it, the course is a way to introduce students to UNC’s writing standards. According to preciously, preciously green freshmen, the course will hopefully help them in future classes. I promise to personally check back with those freshmen in four months.
If you have pupaphobia, stay away from Forest Theatre for, like, two weeks. Please. Based on the idea that puppets aren’t just for kids, Paperhand Puppet Intervention is holding shows about life’s little joys until Sept. 7. If you’re looking to add “puppet making” to your LinkedIn skills, you can also volunteer to help with the group’s production.
The New College Compact isn’t going to give us affordable education. Increasing funding and reducing the loans we have to take out is a temporary fix to a very real problem. If we’re going to take the financial burden off students, we should do it by cutting unnecessary costs and services.
We’re reviewing Melanie Martinez’s childhood-inspired LP, Cry Baby. Our design editor Jose Valle is going over the album track by track — proving for the 80th time he has a lot more patience and self-discipline than I ever will.
The DTH has a new pop culture podcast, and Houston Summers was on it. Check out the launch of our podcast "Having It All" that critics have lauded as being the next “Serial” but without crime or investigation or tact. The hosts say new episodes will be released “hopefully weekly.”
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