At the end of every spring semester, The Daily Tar Heel hosts a staffwide banquet to celebrate a job well done. For various and sundry reasons that I've purposely left very ambiguous, I misplaced my glasses at last year's banquet. And for the two weeks following that, I accidentally ran into more ex-boyfriends and ex-group project partners than I had in the entire rest of my life combined — not being able to see more than 12 feet in front of you has a way of doing that.
So when you lose your glasses and can no longer effectively avoid the people you need to avoid, what's a snake person to do? Download an app that'll tell you which of your friends are going out that night.
On an unrelated note, this is the first newsletter for which my parents will be joining us! Welcome, Mom and Dad — I am so, so sorry for saying "y'all" further down in this post. It was done ironically; I promise. Don't disown me.
- After concerns were brought up about eating disorders in students, Embody Carolina is working with mandatory lifetime fitness classes to bring change to their nutrition curriculum.
- Presidential candidate Jeb Bush revealed his Reagan-inspired tax plan in an industrial cooling plant yesterday. Evidently, being directly associated with two former Republican presidents wasn't enough for his campaign team. Go big or go home, y'all.
- UNC's Silent Sam statue was altered for the third time in three months — this time being blindfolded with a Confederate battle flag. The next time it happens, I'd like to request someone dress him in full Mrs. Robert E. Lee-themed drag. Once again, go big or go home.
A candidate vying to be the new dean of the College of Arts and Sciences hosted his first open forum yesterday. William Easterling, one of five finalists on the chopping block, addressed topics like the importance of maintaining academic freedom and confronting uncomfortable subjects. I'll be rooting for you in Carol Folt's impending rose ceremony, William.
In this round of All Up in Your Business, we look into Smoothie King and social apps for your inner snake person. Toast Together is a new app which shows users which bars are hosting events, where the beer specials are and who's going out that night. Avoiding side friends has never been easier.
Internship deadlines come faster than you think — some even before the new year. Better perfect your resumes, cover letters and social media presences. You'll want to start applying to your favorite internships ASAP — unless you're thinking about the Dow Jones News Fund, Vox, Slate, The Atlantic, Condé Nast, Mashable, NPR, Clickhole, Google or BuzzFeed. Those are mine.
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber might be world-famous pop stars, but their heartbreak is relatable as heck. Sam Sabin, our investigations leader, shamelessly connects with their breakup. She literally has a two-song Spotify list called "FEELINGS ARE OK." And because "Good For You" is one of twelve songs on my conspicuously named "not a wedding playlist" playlist — trust me, Sam's not alone.
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