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(11/08/16 7:15am)
When you were in high school, you sat far in the back of your U.S. history class. Half asleep, you flipped absentmindedly through your textbook, the pages a blur of battles with funny titles and pompous men donning white wigs. The names and the dates seemed so far away; the ways of the dead world, unfamiliar; the pertinence of each detailed situation, seemingly nonexistent.
(11/07/16 9:24pm)
I've never been punched in the face.
(11/07/16 7:17am)
My sophomore year of high school, I was on the homecoming court and won class favorite. I was also in a relationship, president of my class and involved in more than seven clubs.
(11/04/16 7:42am)
If you've ever met me in person, you've probably seen my dog Solo. You might not have seen him in-person, since he tragically lives two hours away from campus with my parents, but I keep a photo album of him on my phone that has 200 images and counting. He recently celebrated his first birthday with peanut butter, ice cream and a candle. It was cute as hell.
(11/03/16 5:38am)
President Barack Obama visited our campus yesterday. You probably knew that, your family members probably knew that, your dog maybe knew that and all of our sunburned reporters who camped out to cover the event definitely knew that.
(11/02/16 5:01am)
Alison Krug (JAPN 277) and Kiana Cole (HIST 398) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
(11/02/16 6:05am)
Despite having a $25 debit card charge I have no recollection of making, waking up at 3 o'clock yesterday and being legally and scientifically dead until 8 p.m., I'm really happy with how Halloween 2016 turned out.
(11/01/16 12:15pm)
Hopefully you remember, but in case you forgot: Halloween was last night. Parties were had, merriment was made and the only thing scarier than the costumes on Franklin Street was the fact that I have an 8 a.m. on Tuesdays. Today, we’re bringing you the best ways we know how to recover and get past Oct. 31, but as for me, I’m going to continue to eat dollar-bin candy and make myself sick until I raise my glass on New Year’s Eve.
(10/31/16 7:14am)
Hey, psssst. Want to join me on the field this Saturday when UNC hosts Georgia Tech for homecoming weekend? Donate $25 or more to join "Friends of The Daily Tar Heel" and earn a chance to win free field passes. I'll be your host! It'll be a blast! Please donate!
(10/31/16 4:56am)
I’ve been talking for months about my Halloween costume and its greatness. I planned on being Marilyn Monroe in all her timeless glory and strutting down Franklin Street like traffic had stopped for me alone.
(10/28/16 6:21pm)
Hey, psssst. Want to join me on the field for UNC vs. Georgia Tech on Nov. 5? Donate $25 or more to join "Friends of The Daily Tar Heel" and earn a chance to win free homecoming field passes. I'll be your host! It'll be a blast! Please donate!
(10/28/16 6:14am)
As a suburban white girl, I was raised on supermarkets. The highlights of my early childhood include being allowed to push the shopping cart through the aisles of my local Sam's Club (they also include cutting my hair at my great-grandmother's house while "Tarzan" played and hiding from other preschoolers in a play kitchen, but those are both stories for another day).
(10/27/16 7:08am)
Happy almost-Halloween, guys! I feel like I can finally properly anticipate, so I'm about a month behind everyone else (except for my roommate, who has had spooky wall stickers up in our dorm room since the BEGINNING OF SEPTEMBER). I'm late to the game for a number of reasons — my midterms aren't done yet, I really and truly despise being scared and my procrastination levels re: finding a costume are beginning to rival the herculean effort I put into not doing my astronomy labs before they're due.
(10/26/16 3:46am)
Alison Krug (“Boo,” like, in a cute way) and Kiana Cole (“Boo,” like, get off the stage) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
(10/26/16 6:50am)
If you haven’t gotten the memo yet, early voting started last Thursday. Though considering the enormous increase in the number of people in Orange County who have already cast their ballot, you should know that by now. Also because everyone and her mom has posted a selfie wearing an “I Voted!” sticker. (You should tweet those at us, by the way.)
(10/25/16 10:51pm)
Did you procrastinate making your Halloween costume? Did your meme costume become out of date between the time you ordered it and its arrival? Throw away your Ken Bone costume and hang up your Chewbacca Mom mask: You Asked for It, UNC's premier (only!) satirical advice column is here to help.
(10/25/16 6:45am)
In yesterday’s newsletter, I low-key ranted about how I felt like I was still a mess even after Fall Break. Today, I’m back with a better mindset.
(10/24/16 7:13pm)
Hey, psssst. Want to join me on the field for UNC vs. Georgia Tech on Nov. 5? Donate $25 or more to join "Friends of The Daily Tar Heel" and earn a chance to win free homecoming field passes. I'll be your host! It'll be a blast! Please donate!
(10/24/16 5:56am)
My life was a mess before Fall Break.
(10/22/16 8:40pm)
A puntfest turned into a trick play showcase on Saturday at Scott Stadium in Charlottesville, Va., as No. 22 North Carolina leads Virginia 14-7 at the half.