kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain No, it’s not a bomb that just fell out of my bag. It’s a tampon.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the guy spitting game who told the InterVarsity girl that although he drinks every day, he isn’t an alcoholic; it’s only so his roommate doesn’t have to drink alone: Lies. To the international students, I don’t care what you say, you are not a character in American Pie. To the guy Skyping AND Facebooking his girlfriend in class: I took a picture to show my friends. I guess I missed the memo; I assumed shower shoes were for showering, not rainy days.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain I would like to meet the people in my dorm whose wi-fi signals are named “hide yo kids, hide yo wi-fi” and “accio internet.” That does not go for the owner of “onions.” To the Alpine guy who gave me four extra pickles when I asked for one: please marry me. Hey, N.C.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain !Alert Carolina!: Just showing the world how good UNC is at playing “Red Light, Green Light.” To the CompSci kid with a cast on his wrist: Don’t lie to us.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the guy in the bathroom orgasming about “cake,” either go on a diet or get help for your drug addiction. Don’t flatter yourself: I wasn’t whistling at you, I just have Tourette’s. Dear outside world: Not all Carolina a cappella groups kick out members with homosexual urges.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Dear First Years: I would be jealous of your CCI MacBook, but I feel better because you still look like a high schooler. To the jerk who stole my bike: Thanks for making my first day of class excellent. I see you freshmen not being able to figure out the door situation at Qdoba.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the cute boy that sits near me in Perception and Reality…I wish you were as easy as this class.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the squeaky-voiced boys who have been debating the per-semester college expenses for the past hour: you could not look any more frosh.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the guy eating a Lunchable in Davis: I know campus dining is limited over the summer, but was there really no better option? And then the punchline was…wait for it…WOMEN CAN’T EVEN DRIVE CARS!
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Dear Advanced Calculus TA, prove to me why we are submitting 5 or 6 lengthy homework problems every 2 days if only 3 of them are graded… it’s a cruel, cruel summer.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain I can forgive a lot, Church Street: the noisy jackhammers, the creepy workers, even the ugly orange signs.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Of all departments faced with budget cuts, Econ is hit the hardest.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the woman who flipped her car on Rosemary Street: What bar is open before 11:15 AM on a Tuesday? Getting a kvetch published in the summer: so easy, a freshman could do it (Yes, I said freshman.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain UNC Office of Student Aid: Where customer service goes to die. To the suck up in the front row of my chem class constantly talking about her research, have you yet to study the effects of having your head that far up the teacher’s butt? Does “no dumping” still apply during a biblical flood? To UNC during the summer: where are all the babes? Send your one-to-two sentence entries to firstname.lastname@example.org, subject line ‘kvetch.’
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain I wish my boyfriend was as bold as the foot fondler. To the girl who said “Trying to find a job is like trying to find a decent guy in Chapel Hill”, I’ve got a job that will help both of your problems.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Friday mornings are just not the same at home. I miss the kvetch board, alpine, even my hangover. To the ‘college kids’ studying in Davis: Your acne, braces, and talk of getting wasted at prom is a dead giveaway.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain I had to find out Osama bin Laden died from Twitter?? AlertCarolina, where are you at a time like this?? To Osama bin Laden, we got you!
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain As a graduating senior, I’d like to leave my fellow Tar Heels with the greatest advice I can: The UL is the best place to poop on campus. Dear N.C.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Dear Quinn, Law and Order SVU has better story lines than the one you made up. Anyone that still wants to argue about abortion should have to ride the N bus on a Friday afternoon. Cargo shorts wearers, sweatpants and uggs girls, HvZ participants, flagpole smokers, and obnoxious longboarders: you give the rest of us GDI’s a bad name. To the underclassman who asked me if I was studying on a Thursday night: I’m a senior, who the @#$! are you?! Why can the DTH say the f-word (three letters) but Kobe Bryant can’t? To the girl wearing a multi-colored button-up polo three sizes too big: Tying the shirt to show off your midriff added extra class to your walk of shame. When the price of gas is higher than my GPA, it’s a problem. To the jacked guy who was chewing tobacco while working out in the SRC: You are my hero. My idea of tanning consists of an afternoon downing Blue Moons at Bob’s #tfm. To the creeper I caught watching me have sex outdoors, you wish your Saturday night was as good as mine. To the cute girl in my Drama class named Sarah Connor: Come with me if you want to live. Is anyone else reminded of the “Burnouts” table in Mean Girls when they pass the smokers in Polk Place? @DTH: I’d like to see more hashtags in the paper.